Mixtape: Work Hard, Play Hard

With all the deadlines, bills, and drama on your shoulders right now, there's no way you'll enjoy this coming weekend. Work is tougher than ever but you have to work to pay off all the bills. You want to party so hard but the deadlines are holding you back. When you get home there's always this never ending drama bothering you. 

You just want to relax. Let go off the bulk on your shoulders. You want to break free and fly. A little drink with friends wouldn't hurt, maybe they need this too. Plan out a weekend escapade within or outside the metro. Have fun, drink, be merry. Take a pause from all your worries. Keep calm and party on! Show 'em those grooves you got. You've been working so hard and you deserve a proper compensation. A perfect treat to a day's hardwork.

Mixtape: The Soundtrack Only Matters

It really didn't sound that bad at all. After reading you got a little confused, you felt like there's something wrong, but you couldn't put a finger on it. Then came the movies, you might as well give it a try for curiosity's sake. You came out of the cinema, thinking of all the things you could have bought instead of being rooted on the spot sandwiched between blabbering fangirls. 

Years passed and installments came with them. It became a revisionism and mockery of vampire films in hollywood. Bram Stoker sure have had shit his pants to this. Fan bases multiplied by millions. You love to hate it, but the only thing that makes you similar to these self-acclaimed twi-hards is that you adore the soundtrack so much

 The Twilight Saga Favorites by D▲D▲ on Grooveshark

The Art Of Killing

What defines the art of murder?  If there were monsters in society, they were not born that way— they were made to be one. Molded as they grew up to fit the perfect profile of a killing machine. 

But what makes killers killers? 
If hatred and anger are symbolic catalysts to these acts, then we are all candidates to commit it. All of us are potential murderers. Yes, even the most rational, religious, and sane person alive are also one to look out for. 

There are several reasons that people do it, some for self-defense, some under the influence of alcohol or drugs, some are just madmen, and some did it in their right frame of minds and fully aware of the ramifications. Lately the juvenile killings are on the rise and the very disturbing thought is that they did it only for plain curiosity. According to Ted Bundy "Murder is not about lust and it's not about violence. It's about possession. When you feel the last breath of life coming out of the woman, you look into her eyes. At the point, it's being God." That's his reason for killing, because it makes him feel like God. I wonder in the back of your minds, do you secretly ponder how it would feel if you actually did it? If you actually kill someone. And would it also make you feel like a god?

Laws, religion, and morality set aside, our reason is the greatest ticket we have for being out of jail as of the moment. Weighing our options before committing anything is one of the most valuable process we take every single day. If we just depend on our feelings and let our emotions take the wheel, surely there will be a bloodbath out there.

We don’t know what would it take to make you a murderer. No one in this world was born with the ability or desire to kill. No one comes to this world full of hatred and anger. It is something  we learn and develop in time. And only time will tell when, where, how, and who.

From the mountains of Mayoyao


These are the beautiful mountains of Mayoyao, Ifugao. A pleasure to grow here surrounded by nature's loving arms.  

Poem: The Sojourner


   Beliefs broken, Faith shaken
   God forbid, Am I truly mistaken?
   The road I've taken
   These thoughts I'm weaving
   Far, departed from the path of reason

   I am lost, Am I lost?
   Queried the puzzled wanderer
   I wonder, I ponder
   Does all who wonder are truly lost?
   If so, Are you also a sojourner?
   2012©Agapin Edrayll
     Image: Jane Eyre, 2011

Celebrating The Future

In this day and age, we have already achieved modernization with its peaks and troughs. We are entering a new era of more complexities and challenges that can now be easily resolved with a new intelligence in another form.

With the rise of technology as an essential form of service it brought vast changes to the world both constructive and destructive. Human inventions can ease burdens, uplift suffering, and even bring new forms of beauty into the world and to balance it out it can also create war as to what weapons are made for. 
Man with all his pride, glory and ambition keep on trying to duplicate the brain’s functions and abilities to keep up and top what nature has given us that resulted to the rise of human-like thinking machines. Now we are still the highest form of beings but in a short time scale what is regarded as the Homo Sapiens race will be replaced by the Machine Sapiens by which are created by the human race itself. 
Children do research via internet, the problem-solving, the researching and connection making is performed not by the child but by the machine. The trend nowadays when you would like to learn something is to “google it”. Then there are websites like stumbleupon, pandora, snipsnap, and various sites that offer recommendations and suggestions to users by prediction of users’ taste and preferences for an efficiency and less brain in part of the human. In a text-editing software like MS Word, what we users do is merely input mountain of text and rely on the Auto-spell and Grammar check for proof reading and corrections. These in its simple forms are a degradation of human thinking.

Poem: Free


   I am but a mundane traveler
   I long to walk the earth, 
   I dare to climb hills and mountains,
   I will swim seas and rivers
   and if only these arms of mine could fly
   surely I will soar cloud high

   I yearn to fill this insatiable cup of curiosity 
   with new found gratification
   I will search for wonders and miracles 
   and venture the blurry immeasurable distance.

   I am, I will, and I shall!

   My very soul demands it
   Restlessness is in its nature
   It will die if not fed, 
   but will live a lifetime once enlightened
   The eagerness overflows and determination seeps in the air
   My only worry, my ever thought, 
   Will the flesh accomplish the will of the spirit?

   2012©Agapin Edrayll
    Image: Atonement, 2007

You Are Bigger Than Your Problem

All of us go through our mishaps, heartaches, and problems. No one is exempt from any difficulty in life, not even the actors, religious people, or kind-hearted persons, they also have their fair share of hardship.

The past can be cruel to some, most opt to bury it. Little do we know that the problems that we face and we will face come from our past. No matter how many feet they were buried underground those memories will always stay there. Remember when people say “Do not mind your problem, let it mind you”?  It is one of those comforting words we tell ourselves along with “This too shall pass”. But those who ignore their problems aren't living in reality, but they prefer to stay in their own fantasy. Your life is not a Disney fairy tale.  You’re not a Damsel in distress waiting to be rescued by a knight in shining armor. If you are placed in such situation how prepared are you to face such challenges? We should be always on the lookout for problems, do not go commando and find it, surely it will come to you someday and when it comes, don't hide and flee but face it front and don't let it overcome you. It is you that must overcome the problem.

Fact is problems don’t just bid goodbye when they feel that you can’t handle them, they stick around you, they don’t go away. Act on it the moment it arrives, deal with it immediately but always keep in mind that you don’t have to carry all that bulk in your shoulder, some problems you alone cannot solve. You’ll need help, don’t let your pride stand before you, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Do not try to change things that you cannot change, you might end up tired running in your self-made thread mill that will lead you nowhere. Life is not a fairy tale, problems are here and there, and after you finish one another will pop out. If you are tired of this burden, others can help but the final decision will always rest in your hands.

Image: Osmar Schindler (1869-1927): David und Goliath

Update: Featured article on Definitely Filipino

Mixtape: City Lights Awake

The sun came and went. As the night falls upon us, the city lights awake. The streets are absolutely full. Parents are on a frenzy, they can't wait to see their children. A group of women clad in their minis and stilletos walked passed by while discussing which bar to spend their hardly earned money to and behind them are a handful of men in tux eyeing them. A young couple accidentally bumped you while they were giddily walking hand in hand as if this night was theirs to own. People from all walks of life are here on the streets, living in their own world with their own priorities and goals in life. But for you work was no better than yesterday and all you're thinking is a nice dinner before crashing the couch and fall asleep.

City Lights Awake by D▲D▲ on Grooveshark

Everything is a blur, you stop for a while and find yourself in a movie-like state where everything is moving fast forward while you're rooted on the spot. The city lights seem to dance and jump from building to building, to street lights, post lights, then to car lights. You never do this often, appreciate beauty in every aspect of life. It was trance-like. It felt childish, but you are amazed. 


Somehow even how carefree we think we are we still adapt to certain beliefs and philosophies. Every individual has their own sets of beliefs and ideals, it may be acquired by the nature of his growth or the nurture of his being. I simply wonder how can I acquire or be influenced?
The system, as a body of legislation have the power even in the minds of people. Politicians and legislators speak out their voices and appeal to appease every individual’s vote or approval by instilling their ways of teaching. With the use of  print, tv, radio, and internet, one can easily be the influencer or influencee. The school, the second home we always thought of as a platform for our young children to gain exposure to the world, to know what is in the world, and a tool to be educated about life by learning what is to be learned in every corner of the room. The peers, little they may be on numbers or not they have the ability to influence us with their own way and in time unnoticed we are unconsciously living up to their ways. And must one not forget the family, the basic unit of the community, the primary people we grow up with, the very initiators of our thinking, the primes that mold us, shape us and eye-openers of the sets of our  ideals and thinking. We have thousands of choices and sub-choices ahead of us. Seeing that you are still reading this is a choice that you chose instead of watching TV. It is what we choose that matters most. 
Freewill is dangerous to every extent, but using it is when we fully utilize the power of our humanity, of our life. We are not bound to fate and destinies. We are what we make of ourselves. It is our decisions that will make or break us. So now tell me which is which? Does it matter given the factors of how can we be molded affect our thinking if we in our own selves behave as individuals asserting our freewill in every decision and choice to make. Ceteris Paribus it is not society nor the system that has power over us but us, we are the captains of our ships, the molders of our lives and the threaders of our fate.

Rainy Days Mixtape

Here’s to the nights when you come home from a hard day’s work. The rain starts to pour hard and you get irritated by the raindrops knocking on your window pane. Suddenly it's cold and freezing yet surprisingly calm and relaxing. The rain keeps knocking over and over, scratching the window with its pointy ends, as if calling you to come nearer.

You come closer and sit beside the window. You were mesmerized with the pouring rain. Suddenly the window sill became a shoulder to lean on. You begin to look back on what you did that day, and the day before, and the day before that, then weeks, and years before that. Then it got touchy walking down on memory lane, so you start to think of the future. What would happen tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after that, and years ahead. It was even more tiring thinking of things yet to come. Now all you want to do is keep your mind blank and enjoy the scenery of mysterious patterns provided by these raindrops.

Feel Good Morning by D▲D▲ on Grooveshark

Keep Growing, Keep Living

They say life happens when we step out of our comfort zone. Having an educational diploma does not guarantee satisfaction. Life doesn’t stop after college. It keeps going on even after marriage or your 40’s. Life is an on-going process. You may be roaming this earth for a long time and feel satisfaction and contentment. But don’t be deceived life isn’t what you perceive it is. In this day in age we discover new information everyday, every hour, every minute. There are new fashion trends, newly found diseases, new actors, new scandals, fresh picks in the market. Learning doesn’t stop at school. Everyday is a learning day. Every minute is a miracle. Growth isn’t just how much you weigh or how high you are. It’s more in the inside of you, more personal. The 13 year old you is a lot different than the present you today. A lot of things have changed, the way you speak, your humor, your style, your attitudes... But as a person you evolved to maturity. You now see the world in a different perspective. Even if you’re 40 or in your 80's life isn’t done with you.  

People who feel okay and stay their ground all the time are the most uncooperative people. They just stay where they are, where they feel they are safe. They stay in their comfort zone because they are too afraid of the world ahead. Do not stick to the one that is just safe and sound for you. At first change could be hard but it could be for the better.

Image: Journey 2

Humpty dumpty is already broken

What’s done is done. Bad decisions that you still regret are not redeemable. Up to now there is no existence of time travel and if there is, I think that would be preposterous against the course of life. What happens only happens once and the decisions we make of it are those we will cherish or regret. Because no one can put humpty dumpty together again. He is gone. He is broken. He is finished.

The Price Of Time

When the doctor informs you that you have a terminal illness and that your days are numbered, before asking how much any possible operation will cost, the first question that pops in our mind is “How much time do I have?”.

To economists and business people “time is money”. Life in general doesn’t go that way. Finding money nowadays could seem difficult but there are every ways that it can be done. Here are the facts: There are jobs all over the globe. Businesses are sprouting in every corner. There are foundations and charities pledged to help people and even beggars earn through out the day. Money can be obtained in various ways but the possibilities of making more time cannot be done. Oil is essential to our survival. Machines run on oil and in an industrial and technological day of age I doubt that its in-existence wouldn’t go unnoticed. Prices of items in the market and transportation depends majorly on the price of oil. But as important as it is, we may still run out of it. The same goes to money. You may run out of all the daily necessities in life but you still have time but if you run out of time you have nothing left. 

Time is ticking. As every day pass by, time keeps on running. As much as we want our very own backspace to rehash the past, pause button to take a break, ctrl-z to undo something, and reset to start afresh and anew, it is not possible. We cannot store it in a bottle to save for later, and slow it up during happy moments. We cannot buy a gallon of it in a grocery store or sell it to someone else who is in need. When we spent time it is forever lost and unrecoverable and all that’s left to say is “What’s done is done”. The funny thing is when you’re enjoying your life the most, it is when time seem to go on and pass by like a gush of wind. When we are in our downtrodden moments and it is when we really need time to speed up but it just wouldn’t. Life as uncertain as it is, should be cherished. Every moment of your life, may it be those simple lazy days or those momentous days of our lives, should be cherished.

Procrastination and idleness won’t do you any good, it will only diminish your productivity. Do not be slaves to time. Take the lead and beat the clock. Time is every man’s opportunity. Opportunity to help someone in need, to reach your dreams, to fall and to rise once again, the opportunity to love and to be loved, the opportunity of living, and be able to experience all the wonders that life offers. But these opportunities don’t last for long. In economics there is a law of supply and demand and it can be summed up as ‘The more scarce something is – the more valuable it is’. If oil supplies are vast as the ocean and can be found anywhere then it will be sold at a much lesser price. We will not value time if we will not die but unfortunately we do. One piece of advice: Carpe Diem. A moment never last a lifetime.

Poem: The Little Prince


   What have become of my little prince?

   Filled by an empty spirit
   Devoid of such emotions
   Stripped of all the love

   We barely speak
   We hardly touch,
   Living life full of grudge.

   So many sins you’ve created
   So full of hatred in this world
   You wailed and scraped the sky
   You tore my hopeful heart
   You made me cry and cry
   Down you go to alcoholic seas
   Leaving me in the cold breeze
   I asked “how can it be…”
   That you didn't search your way back to me.

   2012©Agapin Edrayll
    Image: Donnie Darko, 2001

Mixtape: Official Dressup Soundtrack

Here’s to that lazy afternoon when you just feel like dressing up in front of the mirror, mix matching tops with bottoms, shoes and accessories. You just want to know what goes with this and what goes with that. For no apparent reason you just want to dress up even though you have nothing to do all day and night.

Or here’s to that well-anticipated date night with your high school crush and you need some bootylicious advice from Beyonce while choosing between a casual or a sultry dress. Listen to Madonna while putting on some blush on your cheek. And finally to wrap up your prep why don’t you let Janet Jackson teach you grooves straight from the stereo to back you up. 

Dressup Soundtrack by D▲D▲ on Grooveshark

The Juxtaposition Of Living And Loving

If living meant loving and loving meant hurting then why do we have to love in the first place, and most of all why live? If we are so self-cautious, why let it happen? Why not prevent it and put a stop before anything devastating and painful happens. So they say “Prevention is better than cure” if it is so then it is more suitable not to love to prevent the pain or much better to end life to prevent everything hateful and harmful at all. So many whys so many sighs. We live, love, and laugh, and this triumvirate are the glories of life. But in every aspect there’s lies a juno, a yang, a black swan, always an evil twin exist. 

When we love we become happy but at the same time we also feel pain, sorrow, and grief. They are inevitable, they walk side by side juxtaposed with the other sometimes one getting past the other. But if we don’t live we wouldn’t learn love, and if we don’t love we won’t experience pain, and if we don’t feel the pain then we will not be open to the fact that the world does not only offer smiles but also and more often that not deceitful wiles. 

Pain is inevitable and it was never a choice, but suffering is an option and we choose to live with it the most. Do not be imprisoned in your own shadows but get loose and welcome a life of many tomorrows. Pain is not always negative or destructive. If one day you had a trip down to memory lane don’t be bothered with the tears and even a tinge of pain for even if we surpassed those hardships and moved on, we are only human and we still mourn. We need to be hurt for us to grow, and when we grow we will know that the pain we once had is now a learning we could always look back. True enough life is a bed of roses only those roses are showered with thick, long, and pricking thorns. If we once prick ourselves with these thorns, don’t feel shattered not even demise for sometimes we have to feel the pain to open our minds to the greater beauty of life.

Image: The Notebook

Poem: Abandon Reason


   When it feels so wrong yet tastes so right
   Abandon reason, 
   Abandon reason,  
   and keep going on.  

   When you know hurt is inevitable, 
   And tears will fall,
   Abandon reason,  
   Abandon reason, 
   and keep going on
   2012©Agapin Edrayll
    Image: The Virgin Suicides

Baby you're a firework


Hello 2012
May the odds be ever in my favor
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